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[ When the message comes, he’s practicing his vertical mattress suture on a hunk of swine flesh. He’s been at it for much too long. His eyes ache, his fingers ache, but it takes enough concentration to have him fully absorbed. It’s perfect for a distraction from —-
—- the needle slips from his fingers at the voice in his mind, clattering to the ground.
A twitch forms at the corner of his mouth as he gets up, collects the needle from the floor to place it back on the table beside the meat, and then hesitates a moment before heading outside. ]
—- the needle slips from his fingers at the voice in his mind, clattering to the ground.
A twitch forms at the corner of his mouth as he gets up, collects the needle from the floor to place it back on the table beside the meat, and then hesitates a moment before heading outside. ]
[ Outside the hospital, House is lounging against a wall like he's playing hookey from detention, all insolent lines and careless attitude. A cigarette droops over his lower lip. He's even found some dark glasses to really play up the bad boy chic.
When Junpei appears, he turns his head towards him and crooks a finger, beckoning him over. As soon as he's close enough, he offers: ]
You're pretty sexy when you get angry.
When Junpei appears, he turns his head towards him and crooks a finger, beckoning him over. As soon as he's close enough, he offers: ]
You're pretty sexy when you get angry.
[ Eyes fall on the cigarette first, a wave of nausea hitting him out of reflex. Thankfully the entire display is cheesy enough to help gently disarm his loaded anxiety, and he musters enough curiosity to approach when beckoned. Cautious, unsure.
Then the line is delivered, and he hears someone laugh. It’s clipped, and quick, and maybe a touch confused. It’s another half second before it registers that it came from himself. Where did he even have the fuel to laugh in him? ]
… The Breakfast Club …
[ He can’t help it, that’s also a reflex. ]
Sensei, what in the hell are you doing?
Then the line is delivered, and he hears someone laugh. It’s clipped, and quick, and maybe a touch confused. It’s another half second before it registers that it came from himself. Where did he even have the fuel to laugh in him? ]
… The Breakfast Club …
[ He can’t help it, that’s also a reflex. ]
Sensei, what in the hell are you doing?
Hiding from the feds.
[ He lifts a hand, tugs down the shades so he can look at Junpei over the top of them. There's a thumbprint bruise underneath one eye, maybe a day old. The cigarette isn't lit; a magician's movement from his hand slips it back up one sleeve. To replace it, he tugs a package out from under his arm, something small and unevenly shaped wrapped in wax paper. He offers it out to Junpei. ]
I assumed you're still idiotically trying to prove something to Magda and not stopping to eat. [ To clarify: ] It's a sandwich.
[ He lifts a hand, tugs down the shades so he can look at Junpei over the top of them. There's a thumbprint bruise underneath one eye, maybe a day old. The cigarette isn't lit; a magician's movement from his hand slips it back up one sleeve. To replace it, he tugs a package out from under his arm, something small and unevenly shaped wrapped in wax paper. He offers it out to Junpei. ]
I assumed you're still idiotically trying to prove something to Magda and not stopping to eat. [ To clarify: ] It's a sandwich.
[ The bruise earns a concerned look, but he holds himself back from commenting on it, opting instead to watch the sleight of hand. From the way his brows raise it’s clear that even though he’s being too much of an aloof teenager to ever say so out loud, it’s another one of those moments where House does a little something that weaves its way neatly into the fabric of his affection for him. Strengthening the crush the boy keeps telling himself he’s going to snuff out.
The doctor is right, he hasn’t eaten since breakfast, and even that was an apple grabbed from the kitchen in the boarding house as an afterthought. The sandwich is taken gingerly even as he’s trying to lie through his teeth about being so thoroughly pinned. ]
I’m not trying to prove anything to anyone. I … have to do something. I can’t just sit in my room all day. Might as well be useful.
[ Still, he’s not a total brat. His voice softens as he tacks on a quiet ‘thank you’. ]
The doctor is right, he hasn’t eaten since breakfast, and even that was an apple grabbed from the kitchen in the boarding house as an afterthought. The sandwich is taken gingerly even as he’s trying to lie through his teeth about being so thoroughly pinned. ]
I’m not trying to prove anything to anyone. I … have to do something. I can’t just sit in my room all day. Might as well be useful.
[ Still, he’s not a total brat. His voice softens as he tacks on a quiet ‘thank you’. ]
[ It's more gratitude than House deserves, considering the way he's treated Junpei and used that little crush to exploit all that youthful energy and resilience while he does whatever he wants. A slight tightening of his expression is the only sign that he feels at all ashamed about it, and it doesn't last very long.
Sandwich delivered, he pushes his shades back up his nose and goes back to leaning on his cane and the wall behind him. ]
Is the old lady still trying to recruit you to the worship of the Great Old Ones?
[ The desire to avoid Magda's passive aggressive comments about the expedition into the forest is one of the reasons House is hanging around outside the clinic. ]
Sandwich delivered, he pushes his shades back up his nose and goes back to leaning on his cane and the wall behind him. ]
Is the old lady still trying to recruit you to the worship of the Great Old Ones?
[ The desire to avoid Magda's passive aggressive comments about the expedition into the forest is one of the reasons House is hanging around outside the clinic. ]
She thinks we’re idiots for not going.
[ Stubbornness and fear of the void kept Junpei in town, but he wasn’t totally immune to being affected Magda’s disapproval. The discussion they’d had when she was stuck in the gallery lingered at the corners of his mind; the tenderness she’d shown him that had bolstered his existing dedication to the clinic. Guilt that he can’t please her is simmering away in the background with all his other problems. ]
I don’t know what makes her think I would even manage to reach the void. I’ve felt … weird ever since I was resurrected, I still can’t summon Moon Dregs, and … surviving the forest? I’ve never even been camping. It’s so stupid.
[ Stubbornness and fear of the void kept Junpei in town, but he wasn’t totally immune to being affected Magda’s disapproval. The discussion they’d had when she was stuck in the gallery lingered at the corners of his mind; the tenderness she’d shown him that had bolstered his existing dedication to the clinic. Guilt that he can’t please her is simmering away in the background with all his other problems. ]
I don’t know what makes her think I would even manage to reach the void. I’ve felt … weird ever since I was resurrected, I still can’t summon Moon Dregs, and … surviving the forest? I’ve never even been camping. It’s so stupid.
Edited (Wrong word) 2023-09-17 20:40 (UTC)
[ It's very stupid, which is why House is waiting for an opportune moment to mention that he's going. He's distracted by Junpei's response, turning his head to look at him through his dark glasses, lines drawn across the brow above them as he frowns. ]
You can't summon your.. [ Wait, what was it again? ] .. shrimp?
You can't summon your.. [ Wait, what was it again? ] .. shrimp?
Jellyfish, and no.
[ Delivered in the most unimpressed deadpan. While proper classification of ocean dwelling life forms isn’t technically a job requirement for a doctor, Junpei still feels as if there’s enough difference between the two to warrant vocal irritation.
A thought occurs as his eyes glance down again at the sandwich, fingers lightly grazing over the paper. ]
… did you … make this?
[ It’s such a sudden, subtle shift from annoyed to quietly awed. ]
[ Delivered in the most unimpressed deadpan. While proper classification of ocean dwelling life forms isn’t technically a job requirement for a doctor, Junpei still feels as if there’s enough difference between the two to warrant vocal irritation.
A thought occurs as his eyes glance down again at the sandwich, fingers lightly grazing over the paper. ]
… did you … make this?
[ It’s such a sudden, subtle shift from annoyed to quietly awed. ]
[ Annoyed is better than depressed, in House's view. He reasons that at least if Junpei is irritated by his presence he's not dwelling on all the stupid things he can't fix. And that frustrated little moue is cute.
When his attention turns to the sandwich, House's eyebrows inch upwards. He'd stolen the sandwich from a pannier of supplies being prepared for a hunting party heading out into the woods, but the look on Junpei's face encourages the immediate lie. ]
Yep. I left out the sex herbs this time.
When his attention turns to the sandwich, House's eyebrows inch upwards. He'd stolen the sandwich from a pannier of supplies being prepared for a hunting party heading out into the woods, but the look on Junpei's face encourages the immediate lie. ]
Yep. I left out the sex herbs this time.
[ A single thought, underlined in red and festooned with itty bitty hearts on the notebook of his mind: “He cooked for me.”
Making a sandwich is not cooking, technically … but as has repeatedly been the case with things House has said or done, Junpei takes a crumb and makes a meal from it. In the midst of all the gray hopelessness of his recent daily life, the little lie sparks light. While he does his best to try and keep his expression neutral, there’s practically a sparkle in his single visible eye and the tiniest, cutest smile. The perhaps not so secret soft side of the boy who works so hard to be seen as serious and mature. ]
… oh.
[ Just a single word hinting at the deluge of swooning the dam is holding back.
But he shakes off the fuzzy feelings, knowing they can’t stick around. It was pleasant to visit for a moment, and it did feel better than sadness and fretting. ]
Did you … really just come by to bring me lunch? There’s something else, right?
Making a sandwich is not cooking, technically … but as has repeatedly been the case with things House has said or done, Junpei takes a crumb and makes a meal from it. In the midst of all the gray hopelessness of his recent daily life, the little lie sparks light. While he does his best to try and keep his expression neutral, there’s practically a sparkle in his single visible eye and the tiniest, cutest smile. The perhaps not so secret soft side of the boy who works so hard to be seen as serious and mature. ]
… oh.
[ Just a single word hinting at the deluge of swooning the dam is holding back.
But he shakes off the fuzzy feelings, knowing they can’t stick around. It was pleasant to visit for a moment, and it did feel better than sadness and fretting. ]
Did you … really just come by to bring me lunch? There’s something else, right?
[ very carefully waiting until he's out to slip this under his door, the one letter neatly folded. Inside of the letter is one carefully stitched section of fabric of her own hand. ]
Master Yoshino Junpei,
I know not ought where to begin this so I must I think to say only what is the heart of the matter: that I most humbly beg of your forgiveness.
You do not know me, or if we have met, it has been in passing as I would not wish to pretend familiarity. Perhaps, that is for the best. What matters most, is that I was that awful creature in the cage that so used you, and hurt you in doing so. What I did was vile, it shall haunt me all my days, and there can be no excusing what it was.
I expect no return of your word, or seek of forgiveness, only that now that my mind is my own again, to say this in sincerity. I am sorry for all I did, and I would seek to make amends if ever felt comfortable in my presence to want it from me.
If ever I may make up to you, for that which I did so selfishly, only tell me, and I shall be glad to do so. Until such time, I shall ne'er bother you nor ask for your favour.
Upon my honour, with deepest regards and most humbly yours,
Gilia St. Loe, She Who Sings the Ocean to Sincerity, Daughter-Sea, Second-Child & Queen of the Isle St Loe.
[ Junpei had become a bit of a wandering ghost upon the return to town, associating the boarding house with a place he would easily be trapped. He slept where he could, returning a few times a day to eat from the kitchen but always keeping his visits brief unless there was someone there he felt safe around.
Curiosity and inability to sleep has him checking on the room he used to occupy one night, and it's during this visit that he finds the eloquently written note, eyes widening when he initially sees the length of it.
Unfortunately, it is written in a language he can't read.
Thinking it's just English, he brings it first to House. After some messing around the doctor gives him the gist of the note, and it's brought to John for further translation.
A fuzzy memory is there in his mind, of sweet scents and intimate engagements. Of things that were sharp and drew blood but somehow felt oh so good. His altered mind hadn't kept the whole situation for him to play back, but it's clear that it's been bothering her.
When he reaches out to her via the mind link it's nervous, but determined not to seem so. ]
Hello. I got your letter. I'm ... not really sure what to say. There's really no need to apologize. You weren't you, right? I don't really remember much of it.
Curiosity and inability to sleep has him checking on the room he used to occupy one night, and it's during this visit that he finds the eloquently written note, eyes widening when he initially sees the length of it.
Unfortunately, it is written in a language he can't read.
Thinking it's just English, he brings it first to House. After some messing around the doctor gives him the gist of the note, and it's brought to John for further translation.
A fuzzy memory is there in his mind, of sweet scents and intimate engagements. Of things that were sharp and drew blood but somehow felt oh so good. His altered mind hadn't kept the whole situation for him to play back, but it's clear that it's been bothering her.
When he reaches out to her via the mind link it's nervous, but determined not to seem so. ]
Hello. I got your letter. I'm ... not really sure what to say. There's really no need to apologize. You weren't you, right? I don't really remember much of it.
[ Junpei coming to him with ancient languages is a good enough reason for him to finally check in with the teen - he had sounded so angry and tired and fucked up during his network discussion, and in person he doesn't really look any better.
John is annoyed to find this matters to him. His kind attention to Junpei was initially meant to be somewhere between intimidating and coercive. To drive home that Junpei isn't a threat, and to make sure if House makes a mess, John can clean it up before there's repercussions. Now ... those considerations are still there, but also something else. Something that has him putting the kettle on while he reads out what he can of Gilia's letter.
(In a lot of ways, Junpei reminds him of Kiriona, and he hasn't seen his daughter since she went off into the void.) ]
Hey, once you've sorted this out with her, let's have a cuppa.
John is annoyed to find this matters to him. His kind attention to Junpei was initially meant to be somewhere between intimidating and coercive. To drive home that Junpei isn't a threat, and to make sure if House makes a mess, John can clean it up before there's repercussions. Now ... those considerations are still there, but also something else. Something that has him putting the kettle on while he reads out what he can of Gilia's letter.
(In a lot of ways, Junpei reminds him of Kiriona, and he hasn't seen his daughter since she went off into the void.) ]
Hey, once you've sorted this out with her, let's have a cuppa.
... a couple what?
[ Unfamiliar with the term and a little distracted mulling over the contents of the letter, already trying to muddle out the best way to respond to the very raw feelings displayed when he doesn't fully remember the incident involved.
There's still the tiniest particle of uneasiness around John, but the desperation for people to connect with and find some stability among the Void touched drowns it out. It certainly helps that John is so close with House. ]
[ Unfamiliar with the term and a little distracted mulling over the contents of the letter, already trying to muddle out the best way to respond to the very raw feelings displayed when he doesn't fully remember the incident involved.
There's still the tiniest particle of uneasiness around John, but the desperation for people to connect with and find some stability among the Void touched drowns it out. It certainly helps that John is so close with House. ]
[ She stops what she's doing, and takes a small valiant second to even try for sobriety. Luckily, pretending comes with the whole Queen thing, fairly often, so she inhales, sticks it in her throat to keep her words calm, and the dreaded awful feeling rises that -
Yes. That was his voice. The one from the network (the one from the cage.) That perhaps, the presence of her mind feels familiar from them, or at least, the voice that had laughed and laughed. ]
I do not make excuse for my actions. I feel... I feel awful, that I hurt you.
Yes. That was his voice. The one from the network (the one from the cage.) That perhaps, the presence of her mind feels familiar from them, or at least, the voice that had laughed and laughed. ]
I do not make excuse for my actions. I feel... I feel awful, that I hurt you.
[ He recognizes her as well, and the conversation that had ended so ... oddly. But he pushes through the feelings of uncertainty, trying to reassure her. ]
Someone ate me as a monster and I ... think we're actually kind of friends now ... so ...
[ Comforting people that are upset isn't something he's had a lot of experience with, and he's worried that he's doing horribly at it. If she starts crying he's really going to panic. ]
Someone ate me as a monster and I ... think we're actually kind of friends now ... so ...
[ Comforting people that are upset isn't something he's had a lot of experience with, and he's worried that he's doing horribly at it. If she starts crying he's really going to panic. ]
[ There is just the empty silence, and then — some deep and quiet sigh. Is that how it always will be? ]
I do not... I do not want to ask for...
[ No, that was not the right way around. She rubs at her forehead on her end, trying to clear her thoughts. ]
I just want you to be well, and not feel... feel obliged to accept me, one way or another. [ She clenches her jaw. ] I worry, I suspect, because that is often my duty, to accept what happens, regardless of how I feel. That I would not want to make another do the same. It seems... the least I can do... I do not remember much of the cage, only your face, your voice, how I felt to my bones you were mine, and that I wanted to rip them apart for coming near you.
I do not... I do not want to ask for...
[ No, that was not the right way around. She rubs at her forehead on her end, trying to clear her thoughts. ]
I just want you to be well, and not feel... feel obliged to accept me, one way or another. [ She clenches her jaw. ] I worry, I suspect, because that is often my duty, to accept what happens, regardless of how I feel. That I would not want to make another do the same. It seems... the least I can do... I do not remember much of the cage, only your face, your voice, how I felt to my bones you were mine, and that I wanted to rip them apart for coming near you.
[ The same age she took the throne, and the two of them, Ianthe as well - with all this weight heaped upon them. ]
I only fear... I fear what happens when we stop taking accountability for ourselves. For myself. I... I never want to be so inured to cruelty that I cause another the pain I have gone through.
I only fear... I fear what happens when we stop taking accountability for ourselves. For myself. I... I never want to be so inured to cruelty that I cause another the pain I have gone through.
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