[ Natsume has a gift for soothing. At the very least, he has a gift for soothing Junpei. The sobs lessen in intensity and he relaxes more under the other's touch, even though the elation remains buzzing inside.
Eventually he pulls back, bringing a hand up to cup Natsume's cheek as he presses their foreheads together. At first, he just looks into his eyes. His beautiful eyes. He's so beautiful all over. And he's with him.
When he speaks, his voice is quiet and soft, reverent. ]
I'm so happy. You make me so, so happy. I ... never want to be separated ... not again ...
Separated? [The word comes out a little pitched with panic, Natsume's hands coming up to cradle Junpei's face, anxiously looking him over -- for injuries, maybe. But no, he just looks tired, exhausted even. Natsume can't remember being gone, doesn't recall what happened when he was his smaller self.
But it doesn't matter. What matters is that something happened and Junpei was alone. Whatever it was, he had to bear it and get through it by himself, which is the last thing Natsume ever, ever wants to have happen.
So he nods immediately, the thought of being apart suddenly completely unacceptable. He leans forward, presses his lips to Junpei's forehead, his cheeks, that spot on his temple he always hides with his hair.] Okay. Okay, we won't, not ever.
[Natsume nuzzle into that kiss, like second nature, like coming home -- he can't believe there was ever a time when he was unsure or anxious about kissing. Now it's as easy as breathing.
The request makes him pause, blinking a few times, ears twitching in surprise. It's not thst it's a bad request or too much, more that...they're both so cautious, still so fearful of getting in too deep and being hurt.
Then again, too deep has long since come and gone. And the thought of Junpei waking up alone, not being able to reach out and cuddle into Natsume every morning, not able to relax into his presence whenever he wants feels unbearable. As does the reverse -- sleeping alone is miserable for Natsume by now.
So, slowly:] Are you...I don't want to impose or...make you feel trapped or...but do you mean it?
[ It’s said without hesitation and with his entire heart. He makes sure that when he says it that he’s looking Natsume square in the eyes so that he can clearly see his determination and confidence. ]
It feels weird when I’m here alone. Awkward. Like we’re trying to force things against their natural order ... when we both just want to be together. At least ... that’s how I’ve felt. Have you ... felt that too?
[Natsume is quiet for a moment, reaching up to toy with one of the longer strands of Junpei's hair. Then he nods, expression soft, vulnerable.]
Yes. I feel like I'm leaving part of myself here, every time I go. It doesn't make sense and it's -- painful. Like I'm breaking my own heart over and over.
I ... guess it’s probably still a little fast, but ... I feel like I’m just falling more in love with you as time goes on instead of things getting less intense.
[ Another quick peck to the other’s lips, accompanied by a low sound of contentment. ]
There’s more than enough room for both of us here, I think. And if we need a break I can always live in the forest for a few days ... but you just make me feel so at ease. So safe. So ... whole.
[ Then, a thought comes to him, and he furrows his brow slightly. ]
... come to think of it ... where does Choso live?
Me too. [Which goes against everything they'd been trying so hard to accomplish, which is...sort of funny, actually.
Natsume nuzzle closer, arms going around Junpei, breathing in the scent of him, the warmth.] I don't think I'll ever want to be away from you. Even just -- reading or sleeping feels better when you're next to me.
[The question makes Natsume frown a little, thoughtfully concerned.] I don't...actually know. He isn't very good at caring for himself, so I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't have a home.
[Natsume shakes his head in agreement. Choso never asks for anything, never complains, never speaks up about his own well-being. He's always making sure others are safe first. Especially Natsume and Junpei.
There isn't anyone else in that world or any other who Natsume truly trusts with Junpei's safety. The most important thing in his life, but Choso he trusts implicitly.]
I want to...make sure he's all right. That he's eating enough and sleeping and talking to people. Is that strange?
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Eventually he pulls back, bringing a hand up to cup Natsume's cheek as he presses their foreheads together. At first, he just looks into his eyes. His beautiful eyes. He's so beautiful all over. And he's with him.
When he speaks, his voice is quiet and soft, reverent. ]
I'm so happy. You make me so, so happy. I ... never want to be separated ... not again ...
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But it doesn't matter. What matters is that something happened and Junpei was alone. Whatever it was, he had to bear it and get through it by himself, which is the last thing Natsume ever, ever wants to have happen.
So he nods immediately, the thought of being apart suddenly completely unacceptable. He leans forward, presses his lips to Junpei's forehead, his cheeks, that spot on his temple he always hides with his hair.] Okay. Okay, we won't, not ever.
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But ... ]
You can't promise that. Not really. Thirteen ... she can take you away again whenever she wants.
[ It's sad. Frightened. Helpless.
But he presses their lips together briefly, a gentle, solemn kiss. ]
... but ... would you ... move in with me?
[ He doesn't want to force Natsume into it by any means. The last thing he wants to ever do is be controlling. ]
You don't have to ... I know it's a lot to ask ... but ...
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The request makes him pause, blinking a few times, ears twitching in surprise. It's not thst it's a bad request or too much, more that...they're both so cautious, still so fearful of getting in too deep and being hurt.
Then again, too deep has long since come and gone. And the thought of Junpei waking up alone, not being able to reach out and cuddle into Natsume every morning, not able to relax into his presence whenever he wants feels unbearable. As does the reverse -- sleeping alone is miserable for Natsume by now.
So, slowly:] Are you...I don't want to impose or...make you feel trapped or...but do you mean it?
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[ It’s said without hesitation and with his entire heart. He makes sure that when he says it that he’s looking Natsume square in the eyes so that he can clearly see his determination and confidence. ]
It feels weird when I’m here alone. Awkward. Like we’re trying to force things against their natural order ... when we both just want to be together. At least ... that’s how I’ve felt. Have you ... felt that too?
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Yes. I feel like I'm leaving part of myself here, every time I go. It doesn't make sense and it's -- painful. Like I'm breaking my own heart over and over.
Or like...I'm leaving my heart here.
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[ Another quick peck to the other’s lips, accompanied by a low sound of contentment. ]
There’s more than enough room for both of us here, I think. And if we need a break I can always live in the forest for a few days ... but you just make me feel so at ease. So safe. So ... whole.
[ Then, a thought comes to him, and he furrows his brow slightly. ]
... come to think of it ... where does Choso live?
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Natsume nuzzle closer, arms going around Junpei, breathing in the scent of him, the warmth.] I don't think I'll ever want to be away from you. Even just -- reading or sleeping feels better when you're next to me.
[The question makes Natsume frown a little, thoughtfully concerned.] I don't...actually know. He isn't very good at caring for himself, so I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't have a home.
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The idea of kind, loving Choso just being somewhere alone ... there’s pain on his face instantly. ]
I ... don’t like that idea at all.
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There isn't anyone else in that world or any other who Natsume truly trusts with Junpei's safety. The most important thing in his life, but Choso he trusts implicitly.]
I want to...make sure he's all right. That he's eating enough and sleeping and talking to people. Is that strange?