"If there was a button that killed everyone I hated, I probably wouldn't press it ... but if there was a button that killed everyone who hated me, I'd press it without hesitation."
oh, i'd much rather watch you do it, junpei. ( he still remembers the empty-eyed boy who stood by watching and waiting expectantly as danny held a knife to a man's balls. ) what was it you told me that night? that you ain't never seen a man bleed from his dick, but you've seen one on the wrong end of a bull?
that's fine. i broke a guy's jaw once after he shivved me in the stomach. that was self-defense. ain't no one then or now that can't say he didn't have that shit coming.
( self-defense is just the execution of primal violence with a built-in alibi, sanctioned by the law and biological instincts but not always by your conscience. )
still felt good, though. it felt like how you would've felt if i'd taken that man's dick after all, the way i know you wanted me to.
that's fine, too, for the record. ain't no one then or now that can't say he wouldn't have had that shit coming.
[ Brighter. Still just a flicker. Blue at its core, red on the edges. Tantalizing. If he hadn’t just been riled up by the exchange of barbs with Cesare and the frustration of talking to Quentin it would be easier to ignore. ]
But you didn’t.
That night was that night. It may as well have been a decade ago now for how much has happened.
That night you could’ve really had me any way you wanted me.
( which, fair enough. danny uses men like knives, too. but danny doesn't pretend those knives aren't knives any more than he doesn't pretend he isn't a knife, either. guard a knife's front, you get a knife in the back. guard a knife's back, you get a knife in the throat.
knives don't always go where you want them to, like the inner thigh, like the wrist. )
i don't wanna kill you, gorgeous. waste of a pretty face, and house would never let me hear the end of it if he knew i was even sneezing in your direction. this is a conversation.
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you're the bull. fuck the bitch up.
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I’m not going to be your entertainment.
Anything that happens will be a matter of self defense.
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( self-defense is just the execution of primal violence with a built-in alibi, sanctioned by the law and biological instincts but not always by your conscience. )
still felt good, though. it felt like how you would've felt if i'd taken that man's dick after all, the way i know you wanted me to.
that's fine, too, for the record. ain't no one then or now that can't say he wouldn't have had that shit coming.
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But you didn’t.
That night was that night. It may as well have been a decade ago now for how much has happened.
That night you could’ve really had me any way you wanted me.
But now we’re here.
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but here ain't so linear or simple, is it? if it was, q wouldn't be telling you to back off some cunt you know is a problem.
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Even if I convinced him to stop messing with Cesare he’d just pick up a new annoying asshole the next day.
At least you made sense.
cw: self-harm implication
( which, fair enough. danny uses men like knives, too. but danny doesn't pretend those knives aren't knives any more than he doesn't pretend he isn't a knife, either. guard a knife's front, you get a knife in the back. guard a knife's back, you get a knife in the throat.
knives don't always go where you want them to, like the inner thigh, like the wrist. )
i made sense to you?
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He should stop. ]
Yeah.
You know what I mean. Don’t play dumb.
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you made sense to me, too.
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Do you think I’m an idiot?
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( a bull. )
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do you want to kill me?
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But if it’s between killing you and you killing me? I’m not going through resurrection again. No way in hell.
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[ No. Come on. Don't get distracted. ]
Are you expecting me to believe Quentin wasn't pretty enough not to kill?
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( mostly to tell danny to behave himself. )
quentin was a very special case.
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I’m sure.
I’m grateful for your help bringing Murphy back. It doesn’t erase everything else. But I’m grateful.
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have you seen him since he rezzed? ( . . . ) how is he?
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[ There’s some hesitancy to be too vulnerable around Danny. But he pushes that aside. ]
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you're a good boy, junpei.
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I’m an adult. Not a boy.
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And I just owe him a lot. Thats all.
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