Rubi Inbox

[moondregs]

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Junpei Yoshino, 19

"If there was a button that killed everyone I hated, I probably wouldn't press it ... but if there was a button that killed everyone who hated me, I'd press it without hesitation."

 

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[moondregs]

There’s something about him. I can’t put words to it. It’s a feeling. Nobody has ever made me feel that way. I was starving for it.

And then he was there. Behind me. Hands on my hips, and my throat. All over me. I felt like if I didn’t have him I’d die.

[dead_tongue]

congratulations, you've experienced true horniness. I admit I was expecting something a little more dramatic.

jeez what a mess.

I don't think you're a bad person.

[moondregs]

It’s not just being horny!

[dead_tongue]

then what is it, Junpei?! trauma response? if it is, I understand, but then say so! otherwise the answer is literally "his dick was there and House thinks it's hot." which is horniness.

[moondregs]

Why would having sex with someone be a trauma response? That doesn’t make any sense.

I can’t make you feel what I feel when Danny’s saying the things he does. It’s like he’s talking to a part of me nobody else does. And I like it. But I hate it.

[dead_tongue]

because sometimes when we're fucked up we self destruct.

he understands you?

cw: genital mutilation

[moondregs]

A specific part. And not a good part.

He offered to cut a guy’s dick off for me once. And I wanted him to.

cw: genital mutilation, murrrrderrrr

[dead_tongue]

yeah, I understand more than you know.

you know he'll kill you, right?

[moondregs]

No. Because of sensei. He won’t let him.

[dead_tongue]

a while back, I asked John if I could play with Danny. I said, "I know you probably won't let him kill me" and you know what? he didn't say anything about that.

now I think he'd have let him do it, and it was unfair of me to assume otherwise.

you can't get mad at the keepers if the tiger eats you when you're the one who climbed into its pen. and you can't get mad at the tiger for not listening to its keepers. it's a wild animal.

[moondregs]

If he kills me I deserve it.

But I don’t think it has the right thrill for him.

[dead_tongue]

you're being such an asshole right now.

sure it doesn't.

[moondregs]

How am I being an asshole now? The being an asshole part was when I had sex with him.

[dead_tongue]

do you care about literally anything else besides yourself and Danny's cock right now? honest question.

[moondregs]

How can you ask me that?

[dead_tongue]

that's not an answer.

you're sitting here telling me you deserve to be murdered. how the hell would that fix anything? you'd just hurt people more.

[moondregs]

I don’t know. It might make Quentin feel a little better. It would fit the crime, wouldn’t it?

Guess I can’t handle my relationships as well as you do.

[ Implying. ]

[dead_tongue]

or it might break his heart. it might hurt Murphy, too.

excuse me?

[moondregs]

The other nurses were gossiping about the public dispute you got into with Grady.

[dead_tongue]

that

that has nothing to do with what we're talking about!

[moondregs]

You enjoyed the spectacle, right? It felt good? Until you came back down and found everything you’d built burnt to ashes.

[dead_tongue]

no I did not! I wasn't going for a spectacle at all!!

you have no idea what's going on with me, with us! and I didn't burn anything, we're just fine!

[moondregs]

Right.

You love turning your fangs on me every chance you get. But when you get some of your own medicine you don’t like it so much, do you?

[dead_tongue]

yes, right! you don't know, because you don't give a shit!

this is not "my own medicine" this is you trying to hurt me because I'm asking you questions that you don't like.

[moondregs]

I’ve known you the longest out of anyone here, Iggy, I’ve picked up a few things. I know it’s part of your victim complex to go with the worst faith takes imaginable for everything I say.