"If there was a button that killed everyone I hated, I probably wouldn't press it ... but if there was a button that killed everyone who hated me, I'd press it without hesitation."
[ Another sharp spike of pain and he’s pushing himself out the front door, hobbling into the street as he tries to put distance between himself and the building. ]
[For what had been the slow unravelling of Murphy's mind. The disconnect between self and body, Void memories wedging themselves in the cracks and wrenching them so wide he thought he was going to split open. They'd both almost died for it, trying to fix it, and the only reason they'd stopped, the only reason he'd called Ianthe, was because he'd seen Danny fevered and delirious and dying and couldn't stand it. Couldn't watch another person he loved die for him.
There's no point trying to explain that to Junpei. He's already a retreating back, a series of denials, an I need to be alone. It hurts, to let him go. Not to be able to follow and help him. But Murphy had brought that hurt on himself. He needed to bear it.]
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[He fights the urge to roll his eyes, frustration growing from Junpei's continued denial, from him evoking the same old doesn't matter refrain.]
I'm his brother, not his clone. And if you didn't matter I wouldn't be here telling you.
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[ Another sharp spike of pain and he’s pushing himself out the front door, hobbling into the street as he tries to put distance between himself and the building. ]
… I … I need to go home. I … need to be alone.
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There's no point trying to explain that to Junpei. He's already a retreating back, a series of denials, an I need to be alone. It hurts, to let him go. Not to be able to follow and help him. But Murphy had brought that hurt on himself. He needed to bear it.]