"If there was a button that killed everyone I hated, I probably wouldn't press it ... but if there was a button that killed everyone who hated me, I'd press it without hesitation."
if you refuse they throw you in a cage. just found THAT out.
I didn't even know he was missing. I'm so sorry, Junpei. for what it's worth, I think we'll find him. one way or the other. and if he's dead, we'll bring him back to you.
it'll look bad if I don't try to go along with Rubean culture.
it's ok. I just really didn't know you thought so little of me. like I know some of the stuff you say about me, I know you think I'm "a lot" and that's ok. and I am kinda a dumb ho but like
I know you said you were projecting but I guess I just don't get why you were projecting onto me.
if it was just getting killed, I wish it had been me. but that's not the worst part of it at all. it's thinking someone loves you, and then they do that to you.
He and John have something going on with Danny. I don’t fully understand what it is, but I know they’re connected. And I don’t know if this situation will change that.
I won’t tell Quentin. Not right away. He can hate me later. I know he has better people that will take care of him. But I want him in my life just a little longer. Until he finds out.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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not loving this dick cage.
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I wish I knew if he was gone for good. I wish I knew if he was okay.
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I didn't even know he was missing. I'm so sorry, Junpei.
for what it's worth, I think we'll find him. one way or the other. and if he's dead, we'll bring him back to you.
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Not just to me. To Ari. And Mavis. He’s like you, and like Quentin. Important to so many people.
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so like you, too.
I'm sorry for being bitchy the other day. I didn't know what was happening.
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[ To the idea he won’t fight the chastity. ]
I didn’t know I made you feel that way. I don’t want to. I don’t try to.
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it's ok. I just really didn't know you thought so little of me.
like I know some of the stuff you say about me, I know you think I'm "a lot" and that's ok. and I am kinda a dumb ho but like
I know you said you were projecting but I guess I just don't get why you were projecting onto me.
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and I don't fall for every guy I meet, you know.
cw: genital mutilation
I would have fallen for Danny. Could have. He offered to cut a guy's dick off for me once.
It was exciting.
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that's sweet in a psychotic way. you've got quite the dark side.
and you think I'd have fallen for his pretty eyes or something. because that's what you think I do, because you just see me with different guys.
cw: rape implication
We both like guys that are a little dark, don't we?
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mostly my thing is dead guys.
(not like that)
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it does.
if it was just getting killed, I wish it had been me. but that's not the worst part of it at all. it's thinking someone loves you, and then they do that to you.
you know House never would, right?
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[ He loves House. Allowed his body to be changed for his pleasure. Feels energized when he's around him. Alive.
But it feels foolish to say anything with 100% certainty. To not keep one toe in his protective cynicism. ]
But it doesn't change how I feel.
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which I doubt it would.
you didn't make any of this happen. you know that, right? now that you've calmed down?
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It all feels hard to untangle.
Especially since every part of me is screaming I don't want to leave the clinic. I don't want to leave him. Even though I should.
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OK but
why should you? I confess I don't understand.
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So it feels like I’m betraying Quentin.
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I doubt it will.
...if I get stabbed, don't flip out, okay?
oh. ok, yeah, yeah that could be a little awkward. so I guess you have to choose which is more important.
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I told sensei I want to stay at the clinic.
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I’m selfish.
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that's sort of the human condition.
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