moondregs | Rubi Inbox

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Junpei Yoshino, 19

"If there was a button that killed everyone I hated, I probably wouldn't press it ... but if there was a button that killed everyone who hated me, I'd press it without hesitation."

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yes. very romantic of him to come to your defense.

I didn't ask him to. I was just scared. Then he told me you were just going Void crazy so I shouldn't take what you said seriously.

I don't understand why he said that and then went after you anyway.

I know you didn't.

he was just mad I was wasting time losing my mind. that's a direct quote, I'm not being a bitch. but it's fine. your boyfriend is a massive hypocrite, but he had a point.

Murphy has been through a lot. He hasn't even really told me how much, yet. But he's been angry at me before, too. I wish I knew how to help him.

I'm sorry he lashed out at you on my behalf. For what it's worth.

don't apologise for his being an asshole, Junpei. that's his problem, not yours. just don't you let him hurt you because he has shitty emotional regulation.

anyway it's fine, I'm over it. I didn't pip in to talk about him, I wanted to make sure YOU were OK. Jin Guangyao and Quentin told me the whole town went nuts.

He'd never hurt me.

I'm fine. I barricaded myself in my house in between shifts at the clinic. I guess after awhile you just get used to everything going to hell at any given moment. I just want sensei and Madga freed from their obligations at the castle as soon as possible.

Edited 2024-03-24 18:18 (UTC)

he better not.

thank god.
yeah. yeah, you can get used to anything after a while. that's the horror of it.

are you really ok?

No. But that's normal too, isn't it?

You're back safe. That's enough.

I like to think we're usually okay, more often than not.

yeah. I guess so. brought back the heart, that's the most important thing.

If that comforts you, I'd like you to keep that outlook.

Thank you.

ok.

['If that comforts you.' Like Iggy is a stupid child who needs to believe in lies in order to function, like he can't understand the depth of human suffering in spite of growing up cheek to cheek with people full of grief.

He loves Junpei. But it's obvious he can't talk to him, not really. He shouldn't have mentioned Murphy at all, he realises. He's made it awkward.

He promises himself he won't make that mistake again.

Good vibes only from now on, even if he's falling apart inside.]

get lots of rest, okay? I'll check in on you soon.

Iggy. You're not okay. If there's something else you wanted to say, say it.

I don't want to say anything else.

I think I just need a nap.

You're still a horrible liar.

But, fine. I tried.

please don't be mad at me right now I'm trying so hard Junpei I'm trying really really really hard just please don't be mad at me if I can't talk about it yet

I try too, you know. I try so hard to not upset you. And yet I still do. Every single time. I don't know how to talk to you. I've tried every way I know how.

you're not upsetting me. I'm just upset. I don't mean to be like this.

I found a piece. of her heart. it was a bird foot. it moved, sometimes. I carried it back and I'd feel it.

A foot?

yeah. from a crow or a raven, I think.
she wasn't super happy about it.

you were right. I never should have gone.

You were brave. And wanted to help. But you’re back now.

Is Grady okay?

I was stupid. I was so stupid.

he should have stayed here.

He’d never let you face something like that alone.

he should have. after what happened to him before...

I can't believe I got him hurt again. I'm not supposed to hurt anyone. I try so hard not to. I try so hard to be good and help everyone.

I know you do. Others know you do.

But was it really you that hurt him?

I need to do better.

it's my fault he was there.

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